We have a collection of 2 Money quotes from Demetri Martin
"I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.'" (ID 28112)
"And of course I didn't make any money from stand up for years, so I had temp jobs. That was the way I made money." (ID 28341)